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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".

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• (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Americans.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I think I met my butt stuff soulmate

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  maybe i should limp back to therapy...

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love

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