if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
