You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
