I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
