summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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