You made me cry and you don't even care
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i may or may not be watching the land before time
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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