he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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