Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize