That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
