Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
