Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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