Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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