I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
