Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
