I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
