Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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