I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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