I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
