Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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