So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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