he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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