I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
