Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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