I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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