My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
