Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
