I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
