if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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