I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
