I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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