no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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