I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
