During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize