I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
