I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
