The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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