I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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