He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
