i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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