idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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