Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
