i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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