remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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