big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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