He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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