That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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