I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
