I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
