she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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