she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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