do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
