She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
