do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize