I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
