Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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