with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
