My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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