I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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