The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
