She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
