i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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