But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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